About five years ago, a court in Italy found Marc Biart guilty of drug trafficking and sentenced him to prison. Biart fled to the Dominican Republic and went into hiding … but recently launched a TV cooking show with his wife. Although his face was never shown during the telecasts, his tattooed arms were, which identified him to police and led to his recent arrest by Interpol. (Hiding in plain sight doesn’t always work.)

Professor Markus Buehler of MIT is leading a research team studying how spiders communicate, which is by transmitting vibrations through their webs that vary according to their actions – web construction, hunting and feeding, for example – that Buehler says sound much like musical melodies. He hopes his work will enable humans to understand spiders’ language and one day communicate with them. (The Arachnid Hit Parade.)

Of all the things trucks spill on the nation’s highways, one last week in Pennsylvania takes the cake … uh, pancakes, more specifically. Two big-rig tractor trailers collided under a bridge over Interstate 476 near West Conshohocken, according to the Pennsylvania Highway Patrol, and one of them rolled onto its side and spilled its load of syrup onto the highway. (A sticky situation.)

Betty Diamond recently came across a book she had checked out of the Queens Public Library in New York in 1957: "Ol’ Paul, The Mighty Logger," a collection of Paul Bunyan stories by Glen Rounds. Diamond, 74, who lives in Madison, Wisconsin, mailed it back to the library … 63 years overdue. That wasn’t a record, but the $500 check she sent along with it may be. (Even if not, it was enough to ease the conscience.)

When Helmuth, a 23-year-old, 220-pound African spurred tortoise at a North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, zoo became disabled due to shoulder problems, zookeepers fitted him out with a board on wheels from which the aging tortoise can reach the ground and propel himself. Helmuth is reportedly gaining strength and learning to navigate his way around. (Will he want a motor-scooter next?)

The Mt. Ashland ski resort in Oregon resumed its annual Dummy Downhill competition last week, an event that features dummy skiers created by members of the public. The entrants are mounted on either skis or a snowboard and must race down a steep slope and off a large ski jump. Mt. Ashland GM Hiram Towle told KOBI-TV that they’re judged by “their run, their craft and their airtime.” This year’s winner was “The Flying Ace,” which earned a season pass for its creator, Margaret Shaughnessy. (No dummy.)

Gary and Beth Machens recently decided to repair a stone wall in front of their newly purchased home in Alton, Illinois. When they removed a dilapidated section of the wall, however, they uncovered the entrance to an old brick-lined tunnel under their property. It’s 9 feet high, at least 60 feet long and, according to local historians, was probably constructed around 1840, about 50 years before the Machens’ house was built. Nobody seems to know its original purpose. (A tunnel to nowhere.)

Lance Karlson was recently swimming in Geographe Bay on Australia’s southwest coast when he was attacked by an octopus, which he described as a real shock. It left him with stinging, raised imprints of tentacles across his arm, neck and upper back. He posted a video of the beast lashing out at him and his daughter in shallow water, calling it “the angriest octopus in Geographe Bay.” (Hey – he was there first.)

You can actually buy a piece of the iconic Mackinac Bridge, the famous suspension span that connects Michigan’s upper and lower peninsulas … and, no, it’s not a scam. The Michigan Department of Transportation is selling pieces of the steel grating that were recently removed and replaced as part of the bridge’s regular maintenance program. The MDOT and Mackinac Bridge authority are hoping collectors will want a piece of it. (Hey, Mister – ya’ wanna buy a bridge?) 

Also legit: The State of West Virginia is offering remote workers $12,000 to relocate to Morgantown and stay in residence for a minimum of two years. You’ll also get a rent-free place to work, free passes to outdoor recreation programs, including hiking, mountain climbing, rafting and golf, plus continuing education programs at West Virginia University. (Thanks – we’re all set with Maine.)

Remember – the people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind don’t matter. JEC